The cloud in my eye

Not really a cloud, but a nevus.


This past week I went to Santiago with my family for another scan of my eye and a visit with my ocular oncologist. My nevus is brown, 1.5 mm wide, 2.4 mm long and 0.6 mm thick. And the good news is that these measurements have not changed since my first scan six months ago. This means that my nevus is stable, and for now not showing any signs of melanoma.

My doctor wants to continue watching it, iris melanomas can grow very slowly, but for now it looks good.

I was surprised by how happy the news made me feel. I had been putting on a brave face, but secretly believed my nevus was growing. So to find it stable was great!

I know this is not over, I will have to live with looking in the mirror everyday and checking that it stays the same. And for now I can relax. But this has brought me into the world of rare cancers and stories of people who are not so lucky. Of how hard it is to cope mentally with a vague diagnosis, and how widely different cancers can be.

So I put this post out into the world for anyone who is dealing with the uncertainty of an iris nevus/melanoma, and hope that they know they are not alone.

11 thoughts on “The cloud in my eye

  1. IsobelandCat says:

    I am glad your news was good. It must be very worrying and frightening to have this hanging over you. I hope that if it had been bad you would have shared that news here too. I have been surprised and touched by the support I have received from my ‘virtual’ friends at difficult times.

    • Thanks and I agree, it is nice the support of virtual friends. It has been hard to talk to friends here because you can’t say cancer without scaring people. And it was (is) only a “may be” cancer. I felt like I had all the fears of a possible cancer, but without the support and sympathy. And that it will always kind of be there, without an answer. Can’t do a biopsy, or remove the tumour unless they are sure or it is damaging the eye.

      So it feels good that it has stopped changing or growing. I will definitely keep my blogging friends up to date, and also, because it is so rare, you never know who you might help with your own experiences.

  2. Spider. Far away here in New Hampshire but still. A lessening cloud in your eye, a lessening cloud in your mind. All the best.

  3. frizztext says:

    I have a bubble in my eyeball too and thought at first I would become blind immediately and prepared to quit writing and photography and began to focus on music – but then the doctor said, it would not be dangerous, no cancer etc. – I just had to learn to accept, that there is a always a floating cloud in my panorama – O.K.

  4. Alison says:

    I’m glad it’s stable. I know what it is to wait for good news.
    I have had a freckle on my eye as long as I can remember, and it was never an issue with doctors until I moved to sunny chile.
    Keep keeping an eye on your eye, but try not to worry!

    • Thanks, I think now that I know it isn’t changing I can calm down. 🙂 And from what I have read, if there is any change it will probably be very slow.

      If you have had a freckle for a long time it shouldn’t be a problem. They can change colour with hormones, pregnancy, pill, etc. (that’s what my doctor thinks has happened with mine, doesn’t matter that we saw the freckle a year before I started taking the pill!)

      But with all the sun here it is better to be safe, good sunglasses and hats!

  5. […] time for a visit to Santiago and my eye doctor. I will have another scan and check up, to see if my nevus has grown.  The first year with my nevus/melanoma was difficult and scary. However, when I […]

  6. stefan mattsson says:

    Hi. I have removed my iris melanoma 5 years ago. No cancer spread. Feel lucky to. For your sake i recomend you to protect yout yes from the sunlight at all time. And to get the cancer removed if you got the chanse. I removed my in St-Eriks hospital in Sweden, specialists on these problems.

    • Thanks a lot for your advice. When I wrote this I knew very little about ocular melanoma and the choices of treatment. It is comforting to know that I can take action, even if my doctor thinks we should wait and watch. Makes me feel I have more control.

      Glad to hear 5 years on and you are cancer free.

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